syllables

i take solace in words. unlike most i do not imagine the goins-on of a book cinematically; rather, the words flow over me like a hot shower. language - the sound and the weight of it - has long transfixed me. the exquisite translations of pablo neruda's poetry and amos oz's the same sea are gems in my ever-expanding, resplendent literary closet.

currently: the pulitzer prize-winning amazing adventures of kavalier&clay by the effervescent michael chabon of wonder boys fame; i have dipped my toe in james r. gaines' evening in the palace of reason and am intrigued.

we survive in installations, between moments, amongst one another and yet quite alone.

in a few weeks, i will toast the new york sunset on a park slope roof, smiling slightly in the face of a stranger who is my roommate. i will get a public library card, walk the streets to get a sense of place, join the ranks of brooklyn-manhattan rush hour commuters. i will thrive.

shout

• margaret (M) and her discourses on the occasion of humanity;
• B: a guiding light for we stray sheep.
  

new york was productive. heartening. i had a few job interviews. being across the street from carnegie hall, catching a few performances here and there, dreaming of being backstage, ready for my close-up...

i missed nick's show at the stone, as well as talea's joue of stockhausen's kontakte (anthony cheung, piano and alex lipowski, percusson).

i identify the ride from new york to b-more with fried chicken, biscuits, baked beans, and (a new addition) chocolate milk.

now, to the grindstone, of sorts. making decisions about auditions, repertoire, strategizing for the imminent. perhaps an october weekend in montréal with natalie carducci in tow?

in search of:

an inspiration. a sign. a bolt of lightning. my late-night interest in david copperfield wanes; amos oz's the same sea waits on my deep yellow shag carpet, untouched.

shortly, i will away to new york, stay with charmaine uptown, work for the league for a few days, visit old friends up at purchase, lay down a few funky flute sounds for marc wolf, and on my way out miss nick's solo stone gig.

newly minted: my own fancy flash website. (in progress)

discovery: the very cool, sparse yet rich art+culture site.

pattie

i would like to know a guy named paulie and ride a bicycle with a peppermint stick in my mouth. to roll with the punches.

predicting

being jobless, young, without much work experience, with too many degrees, in this economy, is risky.

i am passionate about tutoring, teaching flute to kids who haven't been touched by the rampant adolescent jadedness, working on musicals where everyone has good creative energy, and playing music that forces me to take a second, or third, look.

i struggle not to take personally every absent email or call from a potential employer. i'm qualified to do this work; why not call me? you stand to gain more than you stand to lose by doing so. it's a tough scene; i should've set myself up for it better.

lynn's compadre from her madrigals group at the rennfest yesterday liked my self-dubbed moniker: "marauding martha."

this week: wednesday, "glee" party with richard, pizza, twizzlers, ice cream...is this what i wish high school had been? sticky fingered sugar high, tripping on my own pretend happiness? it truly was the apex of our teenage lives, with a relentlessly regimented schedule, like the army with more social hierarchy and less yelling. i've convinced myself over the years that the few mentions i got in our senior year yearbook signified that i had made something of myself. now i realize it was only in mr. wright, our militaristic, baptist preacher of an AP english teacher, who saw beyond what we were and peered into what he hoped we would become.

wince: reality

i've been home a few days now and know that traveling this summer was the right, if untimely, decision. i risk nothing by sending out a few resumes, putting out feelers.

between new mexico and europe, i crashed for a couple of nights at jake's apartment in queens. i knew that i would be without constant access to a computer for nearly 2 months, which was exhilarating....free! unbound! unreachable! myself.

i came across the inimitable nick at quiet jam session in new jersey on a raining june evening and can't (won't) forget it. 

returning to france - specifically, to paris - after two years' absence was a poignantly nostalgic experience. nothing, and everything, had changed. 

someday i would like to play music with mira benjamin's beautifully reckless abandon, alexandre's expansive curiousity, and nick's incorrigible exploratory thirst. i can only strive.

now playing: ali farka touré, "tchigi fo"

very nearly returned

last night i was in the company of a few lovely domaine forget-ers for dinner (burger with avocado and onions - feve, anyone?) and leave today for new york to work.

i have been absent, but not for quietude's sake. i have been traveling on and off for the last 2 months or so, encountering incredible landscapes, places, and folk (sans doute).

i will be sporadically posting photos, perhaps even creating a snapfish link within, if possible.

i started mid-june with a 10-day séjour to new mexico with my mother for topaz's wedding. topaz, the pirate-clad creative anachronist who grew up as a tibetan buddhist in the wilds of santa fe, wed in his brother jeff's backyard (albuquerque or thereabouts) at sunset to the sounds of their favorite songs. perfect.

we spent a few days exploring albuquerque (really hard to spell) - i <3 nob hill, a 'hood right around the university, for its herb store and satellite coffee - , and then took the high road to santa fe (madrid! pronounced maa-drid, not like the capital of spain), stopping to see handmade cerrillos turquoise jewelry and take in the clean air. we stayed "comme l'habitude" at a beautiful inn with many hanging flowers all around and a charming marquez-esque ambiance. we wandered around old town hunting for good pieces of jewelry (a cargo woman weakness) and i tried to eat green chili whenever and wherever possible. on our way back through albuquerque, we stopped on the recommendation of a girl in a store in santa fe at a jewelry wholesale place that sells not only to the public but also to various dealers around the area (and beyond)....i found a fantastic ring that i now wear every day, sans cesse. more to come...